


Pretty Thing

by fujoshism (fancypineapple)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-05
Updated: 2017-04-05
Packaged: 2018-10-14 23:52:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10546474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fancypineapple/pseuds/fujoshism
Summary: [Originally posted on October 2, 2013]Lu Han and Yifan are college students who are perishing from too much stress, so they do what anyone would do and go to a strip club.





	

**Author's Note:**

> at this point i'm just backing these up out of habit because i honestly think this fic absolutely sucks. also some points of it were lowkey homophobic so i edited them out.

It’s Lu Han’s idea, like all great things are (according to himself). He puts it in practice when he finds Yifan crying in his sleep at the dorm room, face flat on his laptop, which happens on the same day Lu Han himself passes out on a pizza. They don’t really have much time to spend on parties and get-togethers, which is a pity and a waste of college life, but enough is enough and Lu Han has made his decision.

“Get up, bitch,” he kicks Yifan off his chair, waking him up with great startle. He has a keyboard imprint on his left cheek, and the tears are still flowing. “We’re going out tonight.”

“What the fuck,” is the first thing Yifan says. Then, he touches his own face, frowning when his fingers get wet. “Am I crying?” he sniffs, frown intensifying when he takes in Lu Han’s appearance. “And what happened to you…?”

“Slept on dinner. We’re decaying, aren’t we?” Lu Han huffs, removing a slice of pepperoni from his hair. “We gotta go out, relax for a bit, then panic even harder later. And we’re doing this tonight.”

The final weeks of any semesters are always hell, but, if there was a prize for particularly cruel timing, this semester would win it by a landslide. Lu Han gets all his final assignments – _all_ of them – scheduled for the same span of time, and they’re lengthy as hell. Yifan is in an even worse situation, and the only thing keeping him from dying of stress overload is his work partner for most subjects, a polite little man named Kim Minseok, who’s extremely helpful and sympathetic. All in all, both of them are on the last thread of their sanity and well-being, and, even though they still had a lump of work to finish, they really had to let some fresh air into their heads, leave the dorms, do something fun.

Yifan sighs. He sounds not even remotely ready to leave the dorms. “What time is it,” he mutters, getting up from the floor.

“Five PM. Go shower. I’m going to call Chanyeol,” Lu Han commands, completely in charge of the situation as he grabs Yifan’s cellphone. Then, he pauses. “On a second thought…” he throws the cellphone to Yifan, who is lucky to catch it by its tails. “I need it more than you do. You call him. And ask him if he knows a place.”

Chanyeol certainly knows a place. Chanyeol knows _places_ , lots of them, and the ones he doesn’t know, his roommate, Jongin, does. For the night, when they clean up, dress up and leave, they’re following one of Jongin’s suggestions.

“So Jongin knows a place—let me tell you—Jongin knows a place,” Chanyeol has been interrupting himself for the past three minutes, which indicates he’s either excited or finding something ridiculous. Yifan and Lu Han fear which one it might be. Jongin just watches in silence, dark and charming as always in his tight jeans and wife-beater. “It’s called ‘Adonis Fantasy’. What kind of place is it? Guess it! What does that sound like to you?”

“Strip joint,” Lu Han confesses, and Yifan laughs.

“ _That’s exactly what it is_ ,” Chanyeol screams, hands going everywhere. So he’s both excited and finding it ridiculous. “Seriously! It’s a gay club! Can you believe this guy? Really?! And it has strippers and shit! Whoa! Really, now!”

“I didn’t know you swung that way, Jongin,” Lu Han states, nudging his ribs with a smile.. Jongin shrugs.

“My friend works there,” he explains, and both Chanyeol and Lu Han burst in wolf-whitsles. Jongin squints. “As a bartender.”

“Uh-huh,” Lu Han chuckles in disbelief just to berate him a little.

Gay or not gay, strippers or no strippers, they make into Adonis Fantasy safely, after some minutes solely dedicated to convincing Yifan to follow them in. They end up having to drag him in while he wails like a child.

“ _Have fun_ , Yifan, for God’s sake,” Lu Han pulls his arms.

“I can buy you some drinks, hyung, don’t worry, it’ll be nice,” Jongin promises, pushing his back.

“Let’s enjoy some beautiful tiddies!” Chanyeol hops around, unhelpful and excited.

For all that’s worth, the four of them find themselves at a table near the stage just as the first number is about to begin. The place is fairly full for a small joint, and the four college students stick out like sore thumbs among the beardy, adult, middle-age men. There’s one papa bear giving Lu Han some pretty intense bedroom eyes, which he swiftly ignores, sweating a bit.

“Jongin!” they hear someone calling. It’s a short, small-framed man, slightly familiar to Lu Han. “Nice to see you here! Brought your friends?”

“Yes! Everyone, this is Kyungsoo hyung,” Jongin says, introducing them one by one to Kyungsoo, who offers them a charming heart-shaped smile by ways of a greeting. There stands a man Lu Han wouldn’t mind going for, and, judging by the look on Chanyeol’s and Yifan’s faces, they think the same.

“You came just in time! Five minutes till the show starts,” Kyungsoo says, looking at the stage with a cryptic smile. Pleased? Expectant? “Do you know our star for tonight?” he asks, and the four friends shake their heads. “He’s really something. You’ll say. Both of them are, so make sure you’ll stay for the second number, at least.” He then seems to snap out of a daze, blinking rapidly before adding, “can I take your orders?”

They order the cheapest beer in the menu – ah, the life of broke college students – sipping it distractedly as the lights fade out. The beardy men hoot and cheer.

“There’s a guy over there—” Chanyeol starts.

“I know,” Lu Han whispers back. “Don’t remind me.”

Chanyeol chuckles, and the music starts.

It’s all moans and strong beats at first. The singer – it’s hard to tell whether it’s a female or male voice – whispers dirty things in English, things that only Yifan seems to understand; a spotlight goes on, red, difuse; and, finally, a small figure walks into the stage, snapback over eyes, lose jacket exposing a shoulder. The cheers are deafening. Lu Han almost climbs on the table tying to see the stripper better. Lose jacket, lose pants… he looks more like a street dancer than a stripper, actually.

The beat intensifies, and he starts moving. A chest pop, a movement of his feet. Hip-lock, sway, sway, lock. Walk, walk, walk, body wave. He… really knows how to move. And has a nice butt, too.

The first piece of clothing to go is his snapback. With a swift movement, he twists it off his head, tossing it to the audience while ruffling his brown, unruly hair into place. Lu Han’s jaw goes slack. _Fuck_ , he’s pretty.

“Holy _shit_ ,” Yifan curses beside him.

“I know,” Lu Han replies faintly, eyes wide as he stares at the stripper’s sly, sensuous grin.

“No, Lu Han, listen,” Yifan shakes his shoulder with violence. “That’s _Minseok_ , Lu Han! Kim Minseok!”

“Hm,” Lu Han nods, swallowing as the stripper started to undo the zipper of his jacket, slowly, _too_ slowly, a tongue peeking out from his bright pink, pretty lips. Then, it sinks. “Wait, what?” He turns around to face Yifan, frowning.

Yifan nods, not ungluing his eyes from the stage. “My work partner, Minseok,” he says in a horrified voice. “I… I’m traumatized.”

Lu Han blinks, turning his head back to the stage as the other customers scream. The jacket is almost off, exposing a pair of narrow, pale shoulders as the stripper – Minseok – dances provocatively. “You do college work with him?!”

“He’s not usually that hot?” Yifan answers, still horrified. “Not—not that he’s hot now, but—”

“Save it,” Lu Han shuts him up, not up to dealing with Yifan’s no-homo shit. On his right side, Chanyeol is sitting perfectly still for what must be the first time in his life, eyes wide and jaw slack, and Jongin is gripping his beer with such strength that the bottle is shaking. Lu Han can feel his own mouth water as Minseok gets rid of the jacket, now left dressed in his lose jeans and very, very loose white singlets. Lu Han thinks he sees a nipple. He also thinks he might pass out.

Minseok dances completely void of shame. He brings his hands to his hair and sways his hips filthily, lips parted, in sync with the song’s heavy breathing sounds. When the bass drops, he drops, too, to the floor, legs open, eyes dark. Money flies in his direction, and even when picking the money, he has no mercy: locking eyes with customers, licking his lips, kissing the bills. Lu Han finds himself rushing to the stage with Chanyeol, money in hands, biting his lip when Minseok approaches them. When he takes Chanyeol’s tips, he kisses his knuckles, staring right into Chanyeol’s soul with dirty intentions, and Chanyeol chokes on his own breath. When he takes Lu Han’s, he licks his lips, tracing Lu Han’s jaw with a teasing finger.

“Thank you, pretty thing,” he says, and God, his _voice_. Lu Han nods, dazed, having to be pulled back to his seat by – Yifan? Chanyeol? – someone. He can’t stop smiling. _Pretty thing_. The prettiest thing of all had called him a Pretty Thing.

“Yifan,” he grabs Yifan’s arm, and Yifan winces in pain. “You. Have. To. Introduce us to each other. Got it?”

“Got it! Let go,” Yifan whines.

The song ends before Lu Han notices it, and the crowd protests; they hadn’t even seen some underwear yet! However, the protests quickly subdue as another song starts – and another person comes to stage, even though Minseok hasn’t left.

“That’s—” Chanyeol’s voice is gurgled when the new stripper raises his head.

“That’s that guy!” Jongin’s voice is ridiculously high-pitched, and his beer is nowhere to be found. “From your class! What the fuck?”

“Chanyeol knows him?” Yifan asks, eyes not leaving the stage, where the two strippers are grinding.

“Seems so,” Lu Han says absentmindedly, saliva dripping from his chin as he watches Minseok’s hips move, his lips parting in a silent moan as the othe man removes his shirt for him. What Lu Han wouldn’t give to be the one up there, grinding against him, caressing his stomach…

“Yeah, that’s—that’s Zhang Yixing from my methods class,” Chanyeol’s voice is almost gone. His hands are balled in tight fists on his lap. “Holy Mother of _fuck_.”

The other three nod in agreement. Going to that place had been the worst best idea of all. And it hadn’t even been Lu Han’s.

 

 

After the show, they run into Minseok and Yixing at the club’s door. No, they had not stayed till the end just to have a chance to talk to them. Jongin didn’t need to do some sweet-talking to Kyungsoo either. It had been a coincidence. Really.

“Yifan!” Ironically, Minseok calls him out first, eyes bright as he recognizes his semi-friend. Yifan just waves awkwardly as Minseok approaches the four of them, Yixing right behind him. “Wow, what a coincidence! I didn’t peg you for the type.”

“I’m not the type! At all! Really,” Yifan is trying to save his dignity. “They dragged me here. And… I didn’t peg you for the type either?”

Minseok chuckles, having the audacity to blush in embarrassment, even though absolutely everyone there had seen him in nothing but red thongs just some hours before. “Sorry. I did tell you I had work at night, though.”

“Yeah, but…” Yifan starts objecting, but brushes it off as he reminds Lu Han’s request. “Never mind. By the way,” he puts a hand on Lu Han’s shoulder, who’s trembling in anticipation. “This is my roommate, Lu Han.”

When Minseok’s eyes land on Lu Han, his expression changes immediately. Recognition dawns upon him, and his previously demure smile widens almost imperceptibly. “Nice to meet you, Lu Han.”

“Nice to meet you too,” Lu Han is aware that he’s smiling creepily, but he has lost control over his face. “Very much so.”

“And I’m Chanyeol!” Chanyeol announces loudly, raising Jongin’s arm in the air. “And this is my roommate, Jongin!”

“Nice to meet you,” Minseok says politely, chuckling.

“And also—also,” Chanyeol rushes to the front, eyes gleaming. “I’m—he and I, we’re in the same class,” he points a finger at Yixing, who seems to wake up from a nap. Yixing blinks. “Hi! Do you remember me? I’m Chanyeol from Research Methods!”

Yixing tilts his head to the side. For a second, it looks like he won’t recognize him, no matter how much Chanyeol beams at him. After a moment, though, Yixing lights up. “Ah!” he says, smiling. “You’re the guy who dropped the teacher’s computer!”

Chanyeol’s smile falls immediately, and Jongin breaks into a fit of laughter. Everyone tries to hold back for Chanyeol’s sake, but Jongin is laughing so hard he might hurt himself. “Yeah,” Chanyeol says sadly, aiming a kick to Jongin’s shins, but missing. “That’s me.”

 

 

They head back to the campus together, leaving Kyungsoo and Yixing at the bus stop after catching the bus to the dorms.

“So he doesn’t live there…” Chanyeol laments. Yifan rolls his eyes at him, but he, too, seems a bit gloomy.

“Yifan talks a lot about you, you know,” Minseok tells Lu Han, their shoulders bumping together as the bus makes a curve. Off-stage, Minseok looks shy and innocent, and Lu Han will be damned if he falls for it, but his instinct is urging him to protect Minseok from all things evil in this world.

“He talks a lot about you too,” he says, still smiling, eyes glassy as he stares distractedly at Minseok’s lips. “I can’t believe he didn’t introduce us to each other sooner,” Minseok adds to that, oblivious to the staring. “I would’ve left a better first impression.”

Lu Han chuckles at that. “Well…” he’s not sure how his first impression of Minseok could be any better, but whatever.

A beep. They’re approaching a stop. “Oops. That’s mine,” Minseok says, smiling apologetically as he gets up from his seat. He had been sitting at the window seat, and gives Lu Han no time to get up before he leaves, thus giving Lu Han a close-up view of his butt. It’s torture. Lu Han needs to touch—

“Bye, Yifan! See you tomorrow,” he greets Yifan cheerfully, throwing his backpack over his shoulder. Chanyeol and Jongin also bid him goodbye, but they’re too distracted discussing something over a phone, so it’s quick. At last, Minseok turns back to Lu Han – and his eyes are glinting.

“See you around, pretty thing,” he mutters quietly, a thumb caressing Lu Han’s cheek,

and he hops off the bus before Lu Han can react.

Lu Han faintly thanks himself for dragging himself and Yifan out that night. It was life-changing. Literally so.


End file.
